A classmate asked me for a favor. I almost always say yes to them so i said, okay shoot! what's it about?... She was asking for help to call up someone to follw-up something.. damn. I don't do calls... So i had to say no.. I couldn't help a friend coz i was scared... that's how pathetic i am..
She said that i should get out of my comfort zone, it's just a call...hahaha.. Well, i'm already out of my comfort zone, i'm a masscomm student ain't i?.. darn it! i'm really not a people person, so this course is almost like torture for me...My days are numbered.. Internship is almost here... I can't really imagine myself...
A lot of people say i can excel in my course. IF i try. Of course, i don't believe them. Heck! I crumble if i'm alone at interviews, i mumble, stammer, and do stupid stuff during presentations, reports or when placing a call. I just can't help it!.. teehee...So sorry if i just can't believe it.. :p
I can do my job well if i'm not bothered with people talking to me, or me talking to them....I'm just not a people person...
No matter how hard i study, a lot of things just don't stick to my head. I forget a lot of stuff. My couzin told me that this is because, i just study or learn things with only with my mind and not with my heart. It sounds corny, i know, but honestly? It's true. teehee....i just can't learn to love this course THAT much. I can live with it though. Actually i have too...I can't waste my three years studying it just because i can't take it anymore...I have to suck it all in and go on.
I just hate the thought that i can't help my friends or do my job well coz of this.. Wish i could change my attitude, i tried already. It's just too hard.. hmmph!...I envy my friends who are now reaching their goals.Fearlessly doing what they want. Wish i could be more like them. Maybe if i worked on somehting that i truly loved, i'd prolly reach places too.. hehehe
I thought i was over this issue. But feeling what i feel now? phooeeyy! i'd be lying if i said i was.... haaaay.....
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