whateverness....

I know i complain a lot whenever something's troubling me.. and i know i annoy a lot of people, heck i even annoy myself to the point that i never want to wake up or would pray that i would just drop dead...the type of annoyance that makes me wish that the ground below me will open up and swallow me...

to be honest, i am really very tired of my life.. gikapoy nko..

i'm tired of pretending, i'm tired of controlling, i'm tired of wishing that i wasn't me.. BUT

if i don't control me, if i don't pretend at times, IF i let out what i really would like to do....

trust me, you'd wish that you never knew me... i'm not a monster... it's just that i have a bad temper and i can be really annoying... as much as possible i try to be patient... i want to be patient... but the the problem is, a lot of things right now are making it sooo hard for me that i can barely pretend that i'm okay...

tears can be very powerful weapons.. they can actually help you move mountains... but my tears are actually more like my defense than my offense..i cry when i can't control it anymore, i cry when i can no longer carry the burden that i'm carrying...i cry when i'm all out of ideas...

call me a kid, call me emo, call me whatever you'd like.... the truth is, i couldn't care less... i've been tagged with a lot of names that i really don't care anymore...

i'm tired tired tired....please, someone get a gun and shoot me... seriously

i never knew college is such a bitch... when i was a kid, i thought college was the best time of our lives... you get to study what you love, meet people that you admire, have fun doing what you do best.... hoooo booyyy i was sooo wrong....

college=stress=bitches=damnthemalltohell=stress

i HATE that i am so dependent... i actually love to be alone... i enjoy staying home alone, working alone (with stuff that i like)... it's just that i can never be really alone coz i don't have enough confidence.. you see, i've got this problem with people... it kinda comes and goes so whatever... i get scared when talking to people i don't know, i get lost easily (super!) .. well it all boils down to me having extremely bad stagefright...

i'm a loner who loves company, a professional lier who values honesty

i'm a coward who brave battles, a toddler hiding her rattle

i am everthing that i wrote here, including the clown who wears a mask.

whatever.damn.